Oh, how the mighty Teals have fallen.

Those sanctimonious independents, draped in their eco-friendly turquoise, have spent years preaching integrity and transparency, casting themselves as the pure-hearted saviours of Australian politics. Yet, here they are, caught with their hands in the dirtiest of political cookie jars—push polling, the sleaziest trick in the campaign playbook. The Sydney Morning Herald’s Olivia Ireland has blown the lid off this scandal, revealing that Climate 200, the teals’ financial sugar daddy, is bankrolling robocalls that praise their darlings while smearing opponents under the guise of “surveys.”

Let’s rewind. Back when the teals were the plucky underdogs, they didn’t hesitate to cry foul over slanted polls. Zoe Daniel, the poster child for teal virtue in Goldstein, was positively apoplectic when a robocall dared question her independence due to Climate 200’s funding. “Dirty tactics,” she thundered. “Unethical… an affront to democracy… insulting to voters.” Strong words from a woman whose campaign was propped up by Simon Holmes à Court’s war chest. Apparently, democracy’s only affronted when the push polls target her.

Fast forward to 2025, and Climate 200 is now the one dialing up voters with scripted love letters to Daniel and her teal sisters. A recording from Goldstein reveals the playbook: “Your independent member Zoe Daniel has advocated for long-term economic reform, protecting the environment for future generations and for there to be more compassion and integrity in politics.” Subtle as a sledgehammer. Then comes the kicker—a question designed to paint Liberals as climate-denying, abortion-banning extremists led by the likes of Barnaby Joyce and Matt Canavan. This isn’t polling; it’s propaganda dressed up as research.

The hypocrisy is breathtaking. These are the same teals who’ve built their brand on being above the grubby fray of politics, promising a “new way” of doing things. They’ve wagged their fingers at the major parties, tut-tutting over ethical lapses, while happily accepting millions from Climate 200 to storm Liberal heartlands. Now, their benefactor is deploying the very tactics they once decried, and not a peep of protest from the teal brigade. Daniel’s silence is deafening—apparently, integrity is flexible when it’s your side doing the smearing.

Coalition campaign spokesman James Paterson didn’t mince words: “That’s not just hypocrisy – it’s cynical, desperate politics from someone who claimed to be better than this.” He’s not wrong. The teals have spent years cultivating an image of moral superiority, but this scandal strips it bare. Push polls aren’t just a cheap shot; they’re a calculated attempt to manipulate voters, the kind of stunt you’d expect from a seasoned party machine, not a movement claiming to embody “compassion and integrity.”

Climate 200, of course, declined to comment. No surprise there—Holmes à Court’s outfit has always preferred to let its money do the talking. And talk it does, funding “slanted surveys” not just in Goldstein but in Liberal seats across NSW and Victoria, from Dan Tehan’s Wannon to Julian Leeser’s Berowra. The teals may not be a party, but with Climate 200’s cash and coordinated tactics, they’re starting to smell like one.

This isn’t just a betrayal of their own rhetoric; it’s a slap in the face to the voters who bought their high-minded spiel. The teals swept into parliament in 2022 on a wave of discontent with the majors, promising to be different. But when your backers are resorting to push polls—the political equivalent of a used-car salesman’s pitch—how different are you, really? The Teal movement, once a shiny beacon of hope, now looks like just another player in the game, happy to play dirty as long as it wins seats.

So, here’s a tip for Zoe Daniel and her teal comrades: if you’re going to lecture the rest of us on democracy, maybe check your own backyard first. Because right now, it’s looking like a swamp.